Reason #41 through to #63

There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures Jonny Opinion allows to live.

When Jonny Opinion goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.

There is no "I" in team. There are two "I"s in Jonny Opinion. Fuck you, team.

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Jonny Opinion could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Jonny Opinion can win a game of Monopoly without owning any property.

Jonny Opinion has always been able to find Waldo, who he calls Wally, except for one time. He found himself stumped on the last page of Where's Wally Now?, not being able to find the Wally without a shoe. He threw the book down and screamed, "This is BULLSHIT! They're all wearing shoes." He then proceeded to eat the book and exclaim, "IF I CAN'T FIND WALLY, THEN NO ONE CAN!" The book he ate belonged to a child. The child began to cry and Jonny ate him for good measure. The incident has since been refered to as Christmas.

Jonny Opinion is the reason why Wally is hiding. And has changed his name to Waldo.

Jonny Opinion once beat Super Mario Bros 3 without even touching his Nintendo controller. He just yelled at his TV in between bites of his Filet of Child sandwich, and the game beat itself out of fear.

Jonny Opinion is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

When Jonny Opinion was born, the nurse said, "Holy crap! That's Jonny Opinion!" Then she had sex with him. At that point, she was the third girl he had slept with.

When Jonny Opinion jumps into a body of water, he doesn't get wet. The water gets Jonny instead.

Jonny Opinion can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Jonny Opinion played Russian Roulete with a fully loaded gun and won.

If you were to lock Jonny Opinion in a room with a guitar, a year later you would have the greatest album ever, it would sweep the Grammy's. When asked why he doesn't do this Jonny replied "Because Grammy's are for queers." then he ate a knife to show the seriousness of his response.

Jonny Opinion coined the phrase, "I could eat a Horse" after he ate every last unicorn in existence.

When Jonny Opinion does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

In fine print at on the last page of the Guiness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Jonny Opinion, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.

Jonny Opinion can divide by zero.

Jonny Opinion's hair is too afraid of him to grow much.

It takes Jonny Opinion 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Magnetic compasses do not point toward true North - they point in the direction of Jonny Opinion.

You are what you eat. That is why Jonny Opinion's diet consists entirely of bricks, steel, and the tears of small children.