A-Z reasons to love Jonny Opinion

A- Always ready for anything. No matter what you throw at this man verbally, he always, ALWAYS has a comeback. And his comebacks are way better than anything you have to say.

B- Blissfully adorable. Just look at those cheeks. And that smile. So! Cute!

C- Certifiable genius. This is not ass kissing to say so, it is just a fact.

D- Dusty phone. It's so adorable the way he denies that his phone is dusty. Do not let that fool you. His phone is dusty.

E- Email. His e-mails are like liquid sunshine and when you receive one from him (which isn't very often but then again, he is Jonny Opinion and you will sit and wait patiently until he decides you deserve an e-mail) your life will once again be worth living.

F- Fag. No not him. He gave those up. No, not men. He is English and a fag is a cigarette. He stopped smoking and that is impressive and you should stand in awe of his determination.

G- Giggle. He has the most endearing giggle. If you watch him type insults, you will see him giggle like a little schoolgirl. You will be delighted by this.

H- His blog. It is the best blog you will ever read and if you doubt this statement it simply means you have no taste.

I- Intergalactic superstar. I don't make this stuff up, I simply report it.

J- JONNY! Really, do I need to say more?

K- King. Well, he totally should be anyway.

L- Lists. He can make a list for any category you throw at him. It is fun to watch and a talent you wish you had.

M- Music. He has wonderful taste in music. The best part? He loves to share it with those who are worthy in the form of a mixed c.d. Your life is not complete unless he sends you one.

N- Neil Gaiman. Why? Because Neil Gaiman is a well known Englishman in America and yet, Jonny has no clue who he is. I find this amusing.

O- Original. I do not need to explain this. You just need to know him.

P- Philosophical. He is, you know.

Q- Queen's Boy Toy. Well, if she had any taste and he was game, he would be.

R- Really, really sweet. He just is. I do not know why this is so. Maybe he was born that way. Maybe he works really hard against his true nature. Maybe he is a Superhero named "The Sweetman" in his spare time. Don't ask such silly questions about why. Some things just are.

T- Tigers. The official mascot of Jonny Opinion.

S- Snakes. He hates them. Actually, this makes him a bit of a wuss but let's pretend otherwise, shall we?

U- Ur Mama! I just like saying that to him.

V- Vile Woman. The name of the girl he loves and adores to no end. Sometimes we just need to face facts.

W- W. He has enough sense to disdain the American president, George W. Bush. This makes him better than the 17% of Americans who do not. Also, Writes. His writing is better than this list. Also, Walrus'.

X- Xenophobic. Is something he is not. In any way. We should all be this way.

Y- Your Mama! See? I told you I really like saying that to him!

Z- Zeus. Has nothing on Jonny Opinion.

Now bow down and RECOGNIZE BITCHES!